50 Shades of Grey became quite a phenomenon when the book first came out and launched into a series of romantic, spicy, kinky, and thriller genre ventures from the author. However, it gained mainstream attention when the books were adapted into a movie series, which quickly spiraled into many conversations, positive and negative, in the BDSM community. Many people liked the books or the movies for what they presented to the mainstream audiences, but many people in the BDSM community and the general audiences weren’t too fond of it. The book series sold over 100 million copies worldwide, and the movie series earned a collective amount of over 1 billion dollars!
Basically, 50 Shades of Grey popularised the concept of BDSM, being submissive, and what a dominant partner would be like. Of course, there were some character developments and backstories, but this was the biggest takeaway of the books and the movies.
It has been reported that the movies and the books misrepresented what BDSM relationships actually are and look like. They present an unrealistic viewpoint and stance on how to safely explore kinks in the BDSM domain. However, it would also be silly to not try to learn something from mainstream media that hit the nerve of audiences on a massive scale. Here, we will explore what right things you can take away from the concept of “50 Shades of Grey”.
- Giving Proper Attention to Your Partner
One thing that Christian Grey was good at in this series was how focused he was on his partner Anastasia. He did take it too far sometimes, but let’s avoid doing that, shall we?
Christian did not squander his attention or energy on other women whenever he is with Anastasia, or even when he’s not with her. Many women are not used to acceptance or recognition due to many things related to the patriarchal society which we will discuss in some other piece. So, when they get the attention and recognition they deserve, it can be intoxicating for them.
The lesson men can take away from this is that give proper attention to your partner. Respect their boundaries, and recognize the efforts they’re putting into your relationship. Be in touch when you’re away, and never let them feel abandoned or neglected. This will take your relationship a long way, and also bring in some spicy outcomes which we will discuss later in this article.
2. Be Unapologetically Generous in Your Desires
Here’s the spicy part we were talking about. Christian is very straightforward and unapologetically honest with Anastasia about what he desires, and what he wants to do inside the bedroom. He is a composed man who knows exactly what he wants out of sex and is honest about his lust for his partner.
This is a very effective form of aphrodisiac for women when their partner is open with them about their kinks and desires. It only opens up the door for more detailed conversations about these kinks and desires which in most cases lead to some hot and sensual acts of intimacy.
The key takeaway from this point is that you must dive deep into your sexuality and desires in a relationship. It will help both you and your partner in figuring out what exactly each of you respond to and are comfortable with inside the bedroom. Experimentation is also very important, which helps you both in figuring out some more things you like and dislike while having sex.
3. Enhancing the Affection and Love for Each Other
Christian was a very driven man, who was very focused on his life until he met Anastasia. After that, their relationship developed and he tore down the walls he had built and let Anastasia in.
In their relationship, he figured out that if he was just being sexually aggressive, it would become mundane for Anastasia. As you must have heard, predictability can be the death of passion in the bedroom. Hence, make sure that your relationship is as good inside the bedroom as it is outside. For instance, Christian never let an opportunity go by where he could show his love and affection to Anastasia like holding her hand, adoring her, paying attention to her, etc.
From this, you can take away the lesson that it is often the small things you do outside the confinement of a bedroom that might bring in some big events inside the bedroom. Developing your relationship with your partner is much more than good sex, and should be paid equal attention to, if not more.
4. Being Vulnerable
One of the key determiners of a good relationship is how open and comfortable you are with your partner. Christian had a very hard history, in which there was a lot of sadness and trauma. He built a wall around himself to keep it in, and not let it out. This was until he met Anastasia. He didn’t open up to her instantly. It took time, but when the moment came and he removed those walls, it only enhanced their relationship and increased the love and trust they both had for each other.
Being vulnerable with your partner is an essential ingredient in improving your emotional intimacy, and indicating to your partner that you feel safe with them. This is also a good lesson to take away from this book series.
While there is a lot of controversy surrounding this series, no one can deny that it indeed presents us with some good ideas about how to mature relationships and explore one’s sexuality. If we can take those good things away from this series and ignore the clearly obnoxious ones, it can prove to be a very great contributor to enhancing your sexual and emotional relationship with your partner!