Can Therapy Enhance Your Sexual Wellness?
We live in a world where society makes it difficult to communicate freely with your partner about your sexual needs and desires. And here we are, to convince both of you to speak to a third party (a sexual health therapist) to enhance the quality of the lives you two lead in the bedroom. From where does our confidence stem? Stay tuned. You’ll see.
Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy aimed at helping individuals work through physical, psychological, and emotional challenges to have a pleasurable and fulfilling sex life. You can book an appointment with a sexual health therapist because you wish to take your bedroom life to the next level or because you want to attend to some sexual dysfunction.
Sexual dysfunction has managed to creep into the rooms of many across the globe. Take the case of India, where 73.2% of female subjects from a study reported experiencing sexual dysfunction. The dysfunction can include decreased or increased libido, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, painful sexual intercourse, low confidence, inability to attain orgasm, disturbing sexual thoughts or failure to respond to sexual stimulus. Sex therapy might be able to help you reframe these challenges and increase the pleasure that you derive once those pants come off.
How does sex therapy work?
The therapist will encourage your partner and you to talk about your sexual health concerns in front of each other or separately. They will then explore the coping mechanisms that you are currently employing to deal with these concerns. If these ways of coping do not seem to be of any benefit to either of the parties, the therapist will encourage you to come up with better ways of attending to the concern. You are likely to walk out of your session with some form of homework to perform during the remaining week.
If your therapist feels that the problem is resulting from a physical cause, they might recommend you to a medical doctor. Both the doctor and the therapist will then work in collaboration with each other to help you resolve your concerns.
What are some of the benefits of sex therapy?
- Express yourself freely
Speaking to a safe non-judgmental therapist about the issues that you’ve been facing in the bedroom can serve as much-needed relief. Just having someone listen to you, without making you feel ashamed, can offer some respite.
- Develop realistic and appropriate sexual goals
Once you’ve expressed yourself, a sex therapist can help you develop realistic and appropriate sexual goals. For instance, some kinds of sexual dysfunction are a result of ageing. To then put pressure on oneself or one’s partner can lead to frustration. Thus, it becomes crucial to develop goals that are in line with one’s changing body.
- Attend to a sexual rut
After staying in a monogamous relationship, couples can experience a sexual rut which is a state of decreased sexual desire for each other. A therapist can help you spice things up, and find a way through this phase of your relationship.
- Explore alternate forms of sexual expression
You might be asked to try something new, something out of your usual comfort zone. This could include sexual enhancing toys, mutual masturbation, fantasising, a sensual massage, different sexual positions, reading erotica, playing seductive numbers, or engaging in a different kind of foreplay.
- Bank on past positive experiences
Probably there was a time when you and your partner enjoyed each other’s sexual company. Without even realising, there was something that the two of you were doing right then. So therapy might offer you a chance to look at these rights and see if you can incorporate any of these into your present lives. The idea is to bank more on your strengths and build on them than focusing on your deficits.
- Learn practising mindfulness in the bedroom
Mindfulness is the art of bringing all your attention to the present moment in a non-judgmental manner. Think of it like observing the traffic pass by, without trying to intervene by standing in the middle of the road. Cars come, cars go. You merely notice them.
Practising this art form in the bedroom means being more present physically and emotionally when engaging in sex with your partner. It means gently bringing your wandering mind to the here and now, and being led by your senses only.
- Exploring sexual kinks, fetishes, and fantasies
Sometimes, boredom sets in the bedroom because we are unable to show our authentic sexual selves to our partner. Therapy can offer us a safe space to talk about our kinks, fetishes, and fantasies with our partner. The therapist can also help us find ways to explore these in real life without getting off the ground or making our partner feel unsafe.
What should I know before booking an appointment?
Keep these few things in mind when starting your journey of availing sex therapy:
For any form of therapy to work successfully, compatibility between the client and the practitioner is of supreme importance. Make sure you can trust your therapist and feel safe in their presence. Don’t hesitate to bring any kind of distress up with the therapist and having it addressed. If things still don’t work out, please feel free to make a switch to another therapist.
Please make sure to look up your therapist online and check their credentials, years of experience, and reviews. You could take an extra step and contact their former clients about their experience with the said therapist.
- Solo vs Together
While some concerns might only need you to attend therapy, others might require both you and your partner to work in the therapeutic space. Make sure to have a conversation with your partner about which arrangement works best for both of you.
If you and your partner have had a considerable amount of discussion about addressing your sexual concerns, now might be a good time to let go a little and have an expert bring some relief to your room (the pleasurable kind).